improving your relationships

Wouldn't it be great if relationships came with a lead-in training course? After all, when we learn to drive we are given instruction on how the vehicle works and on how to behave as a motorist. At work we are often asked to complete training in order to perform our tasks efficiently and courteously. Yet, for many people, relationships are allowed to occur and develop in a way that is damaging to one or more parties involved with no one looking at the ethics or rules of behavior, and as a result we see a steady increase in divorce, domestic assault and other problems.

As individuals we have our hopes, wishes and dreams for our future and sometimes it is when those are misunderstood or denied within a relationship that problems arise. Furthermore, if you do not know what those are in your partner how can you seek to compliment the relationship?
In working with relationship issues I try to ascertain what the individuals are hoping to achieve, and in what way the relationship is prohibiting any success. Sometimes a set of simple questions can highlight just how much partners know about each other and thus their level of affinity.

So, what is affinity?

It is a representation of what we have in common that can inspire the relationship as a whole. It could be cooking, sports, the arts, or walking in the countryside, but whatever it is it represents the 'glue' that binds a relationship together. The greater the affinity the stronger the relationship.

Affinity can be a funny bedfellow because it would also be true to say that if two people enjoy their 'own space' then that affinity could lead to a successful relationship where both parties go off and do what they want, returning only to satisfy other areas they have in common.

Also, time brings change, what was true yesterday may not be true 10 years on. For example, you may have met your partner whilst climbing in the Andes and 10 years on though both of you enjoy being outside, you may not be able to climb to great heights any longer. So, counselling can help you reach a solution that suits all parties and honours the affinity between you.

Even with affinity in place any relationship will also include a degree of compromise simply because no two humans are exactly alike in their needs or goals. Being aware of what you are being asked to compromise upon can be of enormous use in stabilising a life style with a partner, but you must also be aware of what you are choosing to give up that your partner doesn't know about. If your relationship is worth working for then you would benefit from my services.